she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
