So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Randomize
