Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
