Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
