True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How naked do you want me to be?
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