I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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