Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
