So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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