Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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