:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think my nap took me to another dimension
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
