it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
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I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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