I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
