Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
