im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
