I molested 6 butterflies tonight
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
