Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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