just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
