So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
