I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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