he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
