I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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