i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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