she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
