how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
