the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
