Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
