The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
