Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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