It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
