Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
