North Korea, Best Korea!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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