I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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