oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Less talking, more tequila
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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