What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
