So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
