There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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