she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
