Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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