a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
