my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
