brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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