i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
