If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
