dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
