no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
