I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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