Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
