At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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