i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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