Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
